The votes are in. Seattle's own feisty Dan Savage announces:

Hey, everybody: We have a winner. Savage Love readers, by a wide margin, want Sen. Rick Santorum's name to stand for... THAT FROTHY MIXTURE OF LUBE AND FECAL MATTER THAT IS SOMETIMES THE BYPRODUCT OF ANAL SEX! It was a landslide for that frothy mixture; the runner-up, farting in the face of someone who's rimming you, came in a distant second.

Spread the word. Don't spread the santorum.