Dalton McGuinty, leader of the Ontario Liberal Party, is an 'evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet,' declare the Conservatives. Conservative Premier Ernie Eves has refused to officially retract the accusation, and Dalton McGuinty himself has not denied the allegations, adding only that 'I like puppies too.'
The notion of the evil reptilian kitten-eater from another world is not a new one; it has a long and honourable tradition among loonies. According to schizo nut-job David Icke, reptilian aliens descended to Earth during the time of the Sumerians and began to mix their DNA with that of selected humans, producing the 'bluebloods' which have dominated the world ever since. (It is speculated by Mr Montalk that bluebloods do in fact have blue, copper-based blood. And that Queen Elizabeth II is one of the mightiest and most evil of them all, and may in fact be a necrophiliac cannibal.) Via the Illuminati and Charlemagne and so forth, these evil reptilians have dominated the world ever since. Oh, and they can change shapes. Icke accuses both George H. W. Bush and former Prime Minister Sir Edward Heath of routinely transforming into reptilian aliens and nailing young children to their flesh to bathe in the blood. And he says that V was in fact deeply true to life. Which is probably where the kitten-eating thing comes from. (Though if I recall correctly the Visitors usually preferred guinea pigs...)
To the best of my knowledge, this is the first time that a Canadian political figure has been accused of evil-reptilian-kitten-eater-dom.
What sort of TV ads might politicians trot out if this style of campaigning catches on? I can see the Conservative Alliance doing a spot with a giant Soviet flag fluttering in the background, and a voice-over chanting 'Jack Layton: faggo peacenik.' If John Manley hadn't dropped out of the Liberal leadership race (a couple of months ago; I didn't notice, either), he could've done a charming bit with Paul Martin's laughing visage superimposed over a crackling Satanic inferno, and the caption 'Paul Martin nailed your mom. To a puppy. And then he had sexual relations with her.' Maybe something simple and old-fashioned like 'If returned to power, Ralph Klein has promised to masturbate while pistol-whipping you, because he hates you in a very personal, one-on-one way.'
It's probably just an Ontario thing, though. Go read Larry Zolf. And lock up your kittens.
(Via the invaluable CalPundit.)
Posted by aloysius at September 14, 2003 04:27 PM | TrackBack |