If you are ever walking through a shopping mall parking lot some night, and you come across a shopping cart sitting abandoned all by itself, do not ride in it going 'whee!' while a friend pushes you along towards the bus stop nearby. Apparently, it is a crime. If a police officer should spot you, he will patronise you, ask you if you know how much a shopping cart costs (and then make a figure up), ask you if you know who will wind up paying to replace it (the customers, that's who, the public; only not the cop himself, because he doesn't shop at Target [what, is he too good for Target?]), threaten to charge you with a felony for taking it, then back down and say there's a good chance nothing will come of this but he hopes you won't forget it, as if he's taught you an important Moral Lesson this night that'll make you better citizens, like everyone's living in Magical After-School Storybook Land and now you'll live happily ever after. Then you'll spend the end of your evening cross and pissy and wishing you'd done something genuinely criminal because it sounds bloody stupid telling friends that you were pulled over by the police while riding in a shopping cart. If one is going to be accosted by the police, it might as well be for something good. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.

The police officer conformed excellently to the stereotypes: he was indeed bald and tubby. I'll bet nobody loves him.