If America were a person, it would basically have AIDS at this point, as every cell in its body attempted to die all at once from about a fuckzillion rightwing infections. The body politic is oozing pus from its countless lesions: the pus of the Iraq War, the pus of privatisation, the pus of intelligent design, the pus of bad climatological hurting...I could go on. Pro-war Democrats worry that pacifists like me make the party seem less credible on national defense. The irony is unmistakable, and also slick and rancid as, you guessed it, pus. The gubernatorial race here in Washington state is especially purulent...Creationist Republican Dino Rossi was ahead after the initial count, and just 42 votes ahead after the mandatory machine recount. Gregoire and her Democrats have ponied up for a hand recount, and there's a real chance she could still come out ahead, which would clearly be a Good Thing, but if she pulls it off the Republicans will start bitching about stolen elections, and might try to take the thing to court...Seriously, Washington east of the Cascades needs to be given to Idaho, or swallowed by the Earth, or lost, or something. Seattle is the only reason for this state to exist, and the rest of the state had better damn well accept the fact.
Anyhow. America sucks.
You know what doesn't suck, though? Reading.
Unless you have to read these, the passages longlisted for this year's Literary Review Bad Sex award (won by Tom Wolfe). These professional writers somehow manage to be much, much worse than those curious souls who spend their time writing M*A*S*H slash.
What is the deal with slash fiction, anyhow? I can understand the appeal of fanfic in general, especially fanfic devoted to escapism like Star Trek or Buffy or Doctor Who, the appeal of playing around in a rich fictional universe to which one feels a deep sentimental attachment, and the appeal of exploring beloved characters. I can even get my head around escapist slash: maybe actual slash-writers don't see it this way, but I could see queering characters up as a mechanism for people who aren't straight males to reclaim, or become more at home in, a fictional world full of straight male constructions of sexuality. Like hot Kirk-on-Spock action, for example. (Anyone who just gets off on the idea of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner engaged in Greco-Roman wrestling without subversive intent probably needs a good cold shower, some fresh air, and serious oral sex.) Something similar might apply to Adric and Turlough tossing each other off in the TARDIS lavatory, though it's harder to justify Doctor Who slash on subversive grounds since the Doctor's been readable as he stands as a huge queer icon since Patrick Troughton first minced onto the screen. I can't quite see Buffy slash in the same subversive light, since the show queered itself up pretty well on its own; but, on the other hand, the male characters tend to be sexy, and a big gay fling wouldn't really seem out of character for any of them. I couldn't blame anyone for turning their imaginative faculties onto Angel and Spike and a bottle of wine and a sweaty catfight leaving clothes in artful tatters.
And funny slash I can understand. It seems like a pretty straightforward approach to parody, perhaps not very original, but generally worth a giggle. The thing is, I'm pretty sure not all slash is meant to be parody. Sometimes authors seem to go to great lengths to get their characterisations just so, modulo the ass-loving thing.
Like with the M*A*S*H slash I linked to above.
M*A*S*H slash.
That's like writing fanfic about Mr Belvedere 'polishing the silver' with the butler off The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
M*A*S*H consists of Alan Alda alternately pretending to be Groucho Marx and pretending to be deep. Don't get me wrong--I watched and enjoyed the show when I was a lad. But it's hardly a grand and epic canvas on which to paint a fantasy world of adventure and dick. How can anyone get worked up enough about it to write fanfic in the first place? What would make someone want to colonise that world? And why take it seriously enough to keep the characterisations faithful? Do people really fondle themselves thinking of Radar and Colonel Blake? I've seen Nativity scenes sexier than that.
Slash is, yes, a mystery. Not because of the sex or the sexuality. But because people are willing to spend that kind of time and energy on Law and Order.
Posted by aloysius at December 16, 2004 04:18 PM | TrackBack |