Bah, humbug.

Yes, it's humbug time again! Time to celebrate the miracle of humbug the old-fashioned way: to deck out the Humbug Tree in nooses; to sing jolly carols, with a glass of cold, frothy Humbug Bleach in hand; to give traditional humbug gifts, like ethnic strife around the globe, or unsecured weapons-grade nuclear material from the former Soviet bloc; to celebrate the birth of Our Saviour, the little Baby Humbug, a morbidly-obese 50-year-old man in a diaper and bonnet sent to this Earth to redeem our souls and steal our wallets and stink up our lavatories and commit vile acts with fruitcake. Are you full up with the humbug spirit? (Gin.) God bless us, everyone!

And a very merry humbug to all of you at home!