Pope John Paul II is dead, but do not despair, o my children! For it is all part of Nature's great plan. We weep, but our grief is tempered with a sort of joyous expectancy, for we realise that death is not the end for a Pope...God still has much in store for the Holy Father.
The papacy, you see, is simply one stage in the life-cycle of the Christ. Popes, simple grazing beasts, live on a diet of hosts, plentiful in their natural habitat. These hosts are made of the body of Christ; over the years of a Pope's life, this Christ-essence accumulates in the gastro-intestinal tract, producing Christ-eggs. These eggs are incubated within the Pope, who produces a steady stream of bulls and encyclicals to provide these eggs with the heat and sanctity they require to hatch at last into little larval Christs. These migrate from the gastro-intestinal tract into the heart, kidneys, and brain. This incubation period can take, in extraordinary cases, over twenty years, although the average has been found to be approximately seven and a half. The larval Christs then begin to draw their nourishment directly from the Pope, hollowing him out to form a chrysalis within which the tiny baby Jesuses, having achieved their pupal form, can safely metamorphose. As his flesh and organs are eaten away, the Pope may begin to show some signs of distress. It is vitally important that his life be preserved by any means possible, at the cost of any shred of dignity, peace, or pleasure the Pope may retain, lest the pupal Christs be disturbed before their metamorphosis is complete. When the pupae are ready at last, the remaining shreds of Pope give up their feeble grasp on life, which is where we stand today.
In a manner of weeks or possibly even days, the imago Christs will be ready to move on to the next stage in their life-cycle.
A clutch of tiny little baby Jesuses will eat their way out of the old Pope to bring us all salvation and the love of the Immortal Father.
Then they will be ground into a fine meal and baked into more hosts.
The great journey of life continues!
Posted by aloysius at April 03, 2005 02:32 PM | TrackBack |