Last night the sky was clear, and I found a patch of darkness nearby from which to look at the stars. I saw Orion hovering, as he is wont to do, in the southern sky. And I noticed...Orion the Hunter has a big dangly cock.

Here is a photograph, a long exposure taken through a telescope. Have a good look. It's clear. Right there, beneath the belt, with the Great Nebula smack dab in the middle. Some may call it his sword. This is clearly a very laboured interpretation. It's plain to the meanest intellect that in point of fact Orion is baring to all the Earth his astral member, while spreadeagled and throbbing for action.

Go outside some clear night soon, and see for yourself. You'll thank me.