Well, who'd have thunk it? There really are a bunch of hysterical religious wastes of semen who were up in arms to protest against the secularisation of Valentine's Day.

I swear, it's impossible to cook up an idea so completely stupid that some God-felching nutbug out there hasn't already had it, taken it completely to heart, and gone running pell-mell straight into the lands of self-parody.

Well, let's try another one: Jesus really WAS a fish! Literally! For real! Really!

Do we have any takers for this?