Dear world,
On behalf of a majority of Americans, we're very sorry for the last six years of insane warmongering kleptocracy, and we'll try very hard not to let it happen again. We were young. And drunk. And we were going through a lot of personal issues. Please don't judge us too harshly. Give us a chance to seduce you again with our happy new comparatively-sane somewhat more progressive kleptocracy.
We want to make it up to you. Here's a start: pick your favourite social, economic, military, or political matter in which the United States plays some role. Do you have it? Good. Now close your eyes, and imagine the worst possible outcome of this consistent with the laws of physics. Can you see it? Complete with Crusaders and unfettered global capitalism and dead fisheries and rising sea levels and a Venusian atmosphere and a special gay-bashing fence in every town? With the sound of jackboots on the pavement in the depths of night? Good. Now open your eyes again. Surprise! That may not happen after all. The worst possible outcome is no longer guaranteed!
Merry Christmas.
Love,
A. Hog