Jesus Kebab
For each kebab, you will need:
- Two bamboo skewers
- One large mushroom
- Three or four sliced sweet onion rings
- Cubed tomato, onion, and green pepper to taste
- A large chunk of fried tofu
- Two or three ears of baby corn
- A longitudinal quarter of a red bell pepper
Marinate all your ingredients in olive oil dosed with lemon juice, with black pepper and finely-chopped basil, mint, and rosemary. Two hours should be sufficient.
Assemble your Jesus Kebab from the top down. Impale your onion halo on the first skewer, and slide it about 3/4 of the way to the bottom. The halo will look holier if you stab it on almost radially. Next the mushroom; as this will be Jesus's head, you may wish to draw a face on it using peppercorns or cloves. Next perhaps a smallish cube of tomato to serve as a neck, and then the broad and manly tofu torso. (The tofu will absorb the marinade in a manner which quite beggars belief.) The flesh of an unlucky beast may perhaps be substituted for the tofu if one is so inclined.
Below that, I like to make a crude pelvic girdle from a piece of green pepper, cut from towards the bottom of the bell. Then a groinal region to taste. There are no wrong answers. Be creative. Be artistic.
Finally, form the legs from your quarter of a red pepper by cutting out a triangular gap starting slightly below the curvy bit at the top and terminating at a width of perhaps a centimeter at most at the bottom. If your pepper was curvy enough at the bottom, your Jesus may even have feet.
Next drive the other skewer through the tofu torso transversally. Attach one ear of baby corn on either side. Your Jesus is now complete.
Grill it on the barbeque over a moderate head for perhaps 15 minutes or until sufficiently charred.
They were pronounced sacrelicious.
Posted by aloysius at April 09, 2007 06:21 PM |