I present, without passing any sort of moral judgement, the worst mangled-Latin puns I've ever seen. (Thanks a whole pantload, Adam.) Whether the following are highlights or lowlights I leave to you...

• Ars longa, vita brevis: unsuitable bathing costume (literally: big bottom, small briefs)
• Caeteris paribus: restaurant facilities are available on the Paris coach
• Mens sana: male massage parlour
• Quis custodiet custodes ipsos: do you keep the Guardian?
• Sic transit gloria mundi: the nausea will pass away, and you'll be fine by Monday

The best part is that some of the puns don't even work unless you know your proper Classical pronunciations. Remember, kids, to a real Roman, a C would always make the hard K sound!