From the Department of It's a Small World After All...

The elections are almost upon us, and while the nation's glassy eye is fixed on Senate races in Connecticut and Virginia, or the House Republican leadership's cover-up of Pederastygate, as good citizens we have a duty to consider our state and local races as well. In my state legislative district, we have a hot and happening three-way race shaping up between Democrat Jamie Pedersen, Progressive Linde Knighton, and Republican Hugh Foskett.

Mr. Foskett has made some waves recently, winning his very own Stranger feature with his drunkenly homoerotic Facebook profile. Be sure to click over to the Stranger's site to see the accompanying photographs, of this Young Republican in a sombrero vomiting explosively and fondling his male comrades. By an amazing coincidence, Hugh Foskett was my student back in the spring. I have some small experience dealing with the young gentleman. And I have to say that I'd be lying through my teeth if I claimed this came as any surprise. He's just the kind of guy you expect to find handcuffed to a radiator by a tranny streetwalker, you know?

One of the scandalous images shows Foskett—who says on his Facebook page that he's "Interested In: Women" and "Looking For: Whatever I can get"—apparently drunk and groping a male companion's genital area. Another image shows Foskett dressed as a sailor and saluting handsomely. In another, he's sitting barely clothed in a mountain hot spring with two other men, one of whom is proudly showing off his pecs.

Democrat Bill Sherman, who went to great lengths to court the 43rd's gay vote during his failed primary run, said he was awed by Foskett's shrewdness at pandering to the homo constituency. He said Foskett's methods far exceeded his own karaoke campaign event in a lesbian bar. "This guy's way past me," Sherman said. "I'm impressed."

Sherman also said that Foskett's photos were making him reevaluate his own messaging—especially given that he came in only about 5 percentage points behind Pedersen.

"I'll always have to ask: Should I have put on the sailor suit? Would that have made the difference?" Sherman lamented. "That will haunt me for months, I'm sure."

Pedersen said he was concerned that the Foskett revelations could hurt his own chances with the rude-boy demographic and the 0.17 BAC set. One photo shows Foskett giving the finger to the camera; another shows him glassy-eyed and holding a mouth full of smoke; and another shows him puking while wearing a sombrero. "There go my chances of getting The Stranger's endorsement for the general election," Pedersen said.

Before you ask, I did not teach him everything he knows.