There are undoubtedly several questions that come to mind on first happening upon something called 'The Big Mauve Cloud of Stroky Fluffy-Nurture Love'. Why is it mauve, for example? Why not puce? How big is it? What happens when it rains? And what does it stroke? These are all good questions. Alas, none of them will ever be answered in any satisfactory way. If curiosity plagues you, you are encouraged to make something up. This Cloud, whose name brooks no explanation, is the private personal web space of Luke Gutzwiller, and within it you shall find countless ways he has found to kill odd hours and talk about himself in the third person. (Like this.) It does not freshen breath, whiten teeth, or make you more popular with members of the opposite sex. It is not part of a balanced breakfast. It does, however, offer you a whopping 100% of your recommended daily allowance of jokes involving people who molest cats, recently judged by an accredited expert to contain 27% more cat molestation jokes than the complete works of Marcel Proust. Assembled here as nowhere else for your reading pleasure are a brief autobiography of the man they call Lukers--only mildly apocryphal, with all the juicy bits edited out--as well as a dream journal going all the way back to 1997 and an archive of his feeble writings. Please, restrain your sphincters. Now enter, I say, into this very Cloud of thingy!